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April 15, 2008

Comments

gawdess

whew,that is still going on?
craziness.
good lecture.

merseydotes

You are a voice of authority (as usual), Lisa V. Thank you for using your powers for good.

My ex-therapist once was talking through my options (I'm not technically diagnosed as infertile yet though we've been trying for another kid for nearly two years and a diagnosis may come in the next couple months) and actually said once 'Well, worst case - even though it wouldn't be really bad - is you adopt. Right?' Amazing, that at fiftyish, she still thinks there are good and bad ways for children to come to parents.

And then there is my beautiful daughter Petunia, who is all of four and a half, who comes homes and regularly tells me how her preschool friend's first mother died ('she really died, Mama') in China and then Elly got the mother she has now. And then we talk about other kids we know who had first mothers and how I'm Petunia's first and only mother and families come together in all sorts of ways. It makes my heart feel good that future generations may outgrow the kinds of assumptions you're talking about.

Misty

AMEN! I really don't like how people ask me, "So, when are you going to try for your OWN children?" As if genetics is the only real test of what is MINE. Wow, I guess my husband isn't REALLY mine because he's not genetically similar. (But, I'm glad he's not genetically similar...hehe).

jo(e)

I always read these posts carefully. I'm grateful for them. You bring up stuff that I haven't had an opportunity to think about much before.

Lilian

I agree with jo(e), and she should read Dawn for the same reason (but maybe she does).

themeatically fickle

Most excellent lecture.
As an adoptive parent, I always like these questions:

*How much did she cost?
*What if her mother wants her back?
*Do you know anything about her mother/father?
*Weren't you afraid of not knowing what you'd get? (In reference to genetics...as if there are guarantees with a child we have through birth.)

And my two all time favorites:
*Was she a crack baby?
*Did she have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

kerry

I'm bookmarking all of your adoption posts, they are awesome- and this one especially because I've heard them all. Someone actually had the nerve to ask me why I wasn't going to 'have my own' and stated,'don't worry, you'll probably get pregnant in 6 months', after I showed a picture of our baby. *sigh*

Lori

You read my mind, thank you for sharing your heart and your lives here.

我爱皮肤

And then there is my beautiful daughter Petunia, who is all of four and a half, who comes homes and regularly tells me how her preschool friend's first mother died ('she really died, Mama') in China and then Elly got the mother she has now. And then we talk about other kids we know who had first mothers and how I'm Petunia's first and only mother and families come together in all sorts of ways. It makes my heart feel good that future generations may outgrow the kinds of assumptions you're talking about.

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