Vindauga

Learn from me Grasshopper, and don't make the same mistakes I've made

The Happening is the worst movie I've seen in a long time. And I watch Lifetime television.

It was boring, it wasn't scary, it is gory and not in a good way, it's poorly acted, and the script sucked. Smarter, more discriminating people around us walked out.

I really liked The Sixth Sense. Everything else Shyamalan has made since then is a huge disappointment. Even Signs. Come on, the aliens are scared of water? I want to like his movies. They all have interesting plot concepts. He gives me what I want, a movie that's plot is not predictable. But somewhere after the initial great idea, he loses his train of thought and a shitty movie is born.

After The Village, I vowed I would never see another M. Night movie. Then the local paper gave The Happening a good review. I remembered The Sixth Sense fondly, and went "woohoo, something to surprise me." Surprise me it did. It sucked. And when I got home and checked the internet I realized that one good review I read was the only one out there.

M.Night Shyamalan movies are like a bad boyfriend for us. He treats us like crap over, and over, yet we keep going back, remembering how good he was the first time. It will not happen again. I am changing the locks.

Chick Flick

Pony and I went to see Sex and the City this week. I won't give away any plot lines for those who didn't see it yet. Overall my review would be, I would see it again, if you are a fan, you'll like it. However, it's not as good as some of the best episodes of the series. I think it's missing some of the gooey center and is mostly crispy candy coating.

Minor annoyances- where the hell is Charlotte? She has no decent screen time or plot. And I really missed seeing the beloved Harry more. To me he is one of the greatest boyfriends/husbands ever written. Fully fleshed out, not just an accessory. However in the movie, Harry could have been "husband #2" for as little character development they gave him.

Poop jokes. 'Nuff said. I'm forty-four and way past poop jokes. I'm a grown-up, I prefer poor tasted humor to be about funky spunk.

Ditto on humping dogs. Not funny.

Stupid line about adoption and infertility. I know King (the screenwriter) is a gay man (who likely never experienced infertility), but wasn't there a woman on the set that could've set him straight? So to speak.

And Samantha being fat? Puleease.

The worst part is that there were a couple of groups of women in the theater with us who seem to have escaped the audience from the Maury Povich show. Lots yelling at the screen, sometimes at moments that really distracted from the movie. Girls, if you can't hold your liquor on a Monday night, watch the movie at home.

I liked the movie. I would see it again. I didn't think it was too long. It was like a beach novel that I'm happy to read the good parts again and again, but will skip some sections.

What did you all think?

Jewno

I can't get the damn thing to embed. I've done this before (embedded, I mean), what the hell is up?

Anyway, take the extra step and go watch this parody. It's funny.

Jewno.

Can you name anyone who has died in Iraq recently?

Neither can I. But we all know Heath Ledger has died. As a matter of fact, the coroner's report was "breaking news" and interrupted the legitimate news the other day.

How we are manipulated by the media has long fascinated me. My degree was in communication, (rather than communications) and the department's primary field of study was "how we communicate with each other". I love it when someone in the spotlight calls the media on their blatant manipulation of what's important.

Montel Williams did that last week on Fox. I have to confess I have never seen Montel William's show, maybe his show was just as exploitive as the rest of the tabloid media. But I thought his complaint was interesting, and the response was even more interesting.

"For just over three minutes on Saturday morning, TV talk show host Montel Williams owned the hosts of Fox and Friends.  A former Marine and Naval officer, Montel lectured the stunned hosts on the stupidity of spending air time on the death of Heath Ledger, rather than covering the war in Iraq.  It was a spectacle rarely seen on live cable television, as Montel exposed and condemned both tabloid "news" shows and much of American culture for what they have each become: shallow and greedy.

Three minutes into this awkward segment on Fox, one host cut off Montel in order to go to a commercial.  Montel did not return after the break.  Four days later, after 17 years as a television host, Montel lost his job."

Read the rest of the story and see the video here. Notice that the Fox anchors claim they are only doing what the viewers want. Really? You would rather see 24 hour coverage of celebrity tragedy than deeper coverage of the things that are going on that legitimately affect your life? I would welcome a deeper understanding of the real issues.

Teenagers Make Clueless Film Critics

In the past three days I have had the endings of three current films by three teenagers.

****

While giving Mal and her friends a ride to lunch at a candy store (don't ask) on Friday:

Mal: "Anna and I are thinking of seeing Atonement tonight."

Pattie: "Oh, it's a great movie, and in the end when they *bleep* it's so *bleep.*"

I sit there thinking, I know how it ends. I purposefully don't read full reviews because I hate spoilers. But here I sit, innocently chauffeuring, and the film is fully spoiled. Couldn't be anymore spoiled if it sat outside the fridge in 100 degree heat. Completely spoiled.

****

Driving home from a friend's this morning.

Mal: "Yolanda didn't like Cloverfield."

Me: "But she liked I Am Legend."

Mal: "Yeah, but that's because * bleep * in the end."

Me: "What the hell?! Why did you just tell me the end?"

Mal: "So you'd know it wasn't a good movie."

****

Rory and Mal went to see Cloverfield. Mal got really bad motion sickness. She is really prone to that and joked about taking a Dramamine. She should've. The shaky camera really got to her. Rory was fine.

Me: "Was it a good movie other than your sister wanting to die?"

Rory: "Yeah, but they *bleep* and *bleep* and it was *bleep* in the end."

Bert hit her.

***

I am so telling them Rosebud is a sled.