You Like Me, You Really Like Me

In the middle of this, I've won an award- the Head Lice Version of Jeopardy over at Derfwad Manor. (It's a great blog, if you haven't read it, you should. And sign up for the women's colony.) I'd like to think the little brown sesame shaped bugs for giving me the knowledge to win this award. And I'd like to offer my deepest sympathies and a jar of mayonnaise and olive oil to Mrs. G.

I still don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard to explain, but I don't mind strangers reading about my life. I do however mind people I know reading about it without my knowledge. If someone stumbles on it, it's one thing. If they are told about it, that is another. And beyond that, I have not only a boss, but a board and an entire parent body I am accountable to. If any of them finds anything I've written objectionable that could be raised as a part of my employment. I don't write about work. But I write about things that could impact my work, and if I didn't there is nothing left to write about. I am my family's sole support. I can't afford to be fired.

So I don't what I'm going to do. I could move to a new blog or password protect this one. Last time I did it, I lost a ton of traffic and regular readers. And while I really don't care how much traffic I have- I don't depend on ad revenue or anything- it still bothers me to lose readers.

I took a ton of posts down last night, and there are more to go. Categories are gone, and others are on their way out. I know if I just stay like it is now, this will likely be a different blog. You write differently depending on your audience. If I'm going to write knowing the people I know read it, it will filter a lot. Maybe that will be good, maybe not.

Let me know how you handle anonymity or lack thereof. Let me know if you want the password.

Comments

[kathy]

Hi, I just wandered into your blog while browsing and I face similar issues. My blog used to be private and I recently made it pulblic and am just hoping nobody stumbles into it that I don't want seeing it...I guess we'll see. I use my real name, my kids real names, everything. I wouldn't be that hard to find...

[gawdessness]

anonymity is something I think about a lot.
some days I really wish I could be just plain open about my blogs and what I write and my kids - I am proud of them, of myself most of the time and of our life together - except that most of the time those kids are the reason I do write anonymously.
One of my kids has a social skills issue, this means that it could have been easier to lead them on or manipulate them and I didn't want to make it easier for a predatory person, known or not, to do something like that. Even though I also know that is generally not a big risk, it was just something that I didn't feel comfortable with.
Also, I seem to write more about the angst stuff than I do about the funny stuff and that isn't fair to show the world only the tougher side of us.
It gives a wrong impression of what my kids are like and what I am like.
Yes one of them is dealing with depression issues and one has delays and two have trauma issues from fostercare - and yeah I am a yeller and inappropriately loud and crazy frustrated at times but that is such a small part of us too.

An aquaintence I see weekly with her kids in a group setting, began to read my blog and without my knowledge sent the link on to her adolescent daughter who was a peer to one of my kids.
Suddenly I had the two of them referencing my blog posts in front of other people.
Not only was it usually an inappropriate moment to do so, it also felt very prurient - like they were doing it for some kind of thrill.

So I felt I had to shut it down.
Being anonymous works for me and for my kids - they do know about the blogs and they can read them if they want - they are just happier knowing that no one else needs to know who they are.
and yeah, I want the password

[Lilian]

OH, dear, how upsetting this whole situation is!!! How stressful! Well, do send the password my way if you do go password protected. I remember when your blog disappeared for a while, I wasn't even a regular reader then (I read you whenever Dawn said something, or you commented there or elsewhere), but I still was affected, I was thrilled to find out you had come back.

I'm sorry. I hope you figure out what to do. Maybe you could have two blogs or something? What a bummer!

[Jody]

If/when someone in my daily life here finds me (someone with regular contact with my kids, I mean, or my job if I ever have one), I will probably take all the public-consumption posts of particular value (the stuff about breastfeeding, the NICU, selective reduction mostly, I think -- maybe I would have people vote on the categories they think deserve being kept public) and leave them up.

Then I will create an even more anonymous blog, without my real name, give the link to the folks I trust from my years of posting (a tricky definition, I know), and move on.

I think, but I don't know for sure, that I would continue to post on familiar blogs, but with my new "anonymous" name. But how well would that work, really?

Does Vox allow public/private mixes? I think there, you can flag each post at a different reading level.

I don't know. I think about this one a lot myself, and I don't have a job on the line.

[Amanda]

I went PWP about three months ago, due to a huge issue with someone that I know IRL. It was ugly, painful, and taught me a lesson about how much of myself to "put out there".

Hoping that I can follow along once you do go PWP.

Take care.

[Mrs. G.]

Start thinking about when you want that Secret Boyfriend (or Girlfriend)post. I am warming my fingers up over here.

I would just delete or move-password protected is tough.

Congrats!

[Margie]

Since I don't blog much about personal stuff, it hasn't been an issue. But that in itself is a problem, because it keeps me from writing about things I might want to share otherwise.

Maybe Wordpress has the right idea, with the mix of open and password protected posts. But then if someone you don't want reading asks for the password you're in a tough spot.

What a pain for you. But if it has to go protected, I'd love to have the password. I emailed so you have my address.

[Clover]

Yeah, PWP is kind of a pain- I lost readers, and more importantly, I don't generate any new readers. I'm planning to start writing more innocuous stuff on the public blog (the one I link to in comments) but will still keep the PWP blog- there's just too much stuff that's too sensitive to un-PwP. Good luck. Oh, and I want the password.

[Christine]

Password!

I remember having to pull some stuff down out of fear of hurting my sister, should she come across it. Luckily, the Units don't even know what a blog is, although I was never that worried about them finding out (Female Parental Unit just sent me an email saying, "I know you don't really want me to be a part of your life..." Um, DUH).

Work, though, would have been a concern. I kept the work stuff more anonymous and didn't talk about coworkers.

[Lauralou]

I absolutely understand your desire to safegaurd your job. I stumbled upon your blog randomly, but as an adoptee I have immensley enjoyed visiting this site. As a fellow mom, your blog has made me laugh...you and your family seem so real and normal. As a fellow educator...protect yourself. We have received so many warnings at my school that I have been hesitant to begin my own blog out of fear. I'd love a password if you do decide to protect...

[Lisa V]

Christine, if you loved me you would start blogging again. You make me laugh always. I'll send you naked pictures of my dogs. I mean real naked ones, I shaved them this weekend. Kind of a whole body brazillian.

[Lisa C.]

I'd like the password! :)