Vindauga

I feel like I spent a night with Amy Winehouse

This is one of the great paradoxes of aging:

It takes more to get drunk, but less to get hung-over.

Yes, I can hold my liquor like never before, but the next day I feel the effects of the smallest amount of alcohol consumption.

Last night we hosted Rory's class' 8th grade graduation party. Twenty-five kids, eight parents and very loud music. The closest anyone got to inebriated was when the helium balloons were sacrificed to create the voice of PeeWee Herman.

As another mother and I were cleaning up, around midnight, we each had a beer. I went to bed about 2:00 a.m. and the children woke me up at 8:00.Maybe it's the lack of sleep that does it to me.

I feel like I was throwing back shots with drag queens last night. Seriously. I feel like I stood on a bench and sang I Want to Be a Rock Star. Oh wait that part is true. But I was sober then, and I was just trying to get a good crowd shot.

I'm too old for this shit. I can probably drink you under the table and not throw up. But don't make me stay up late to do it.

The 14 Year Old on Shaving Her Legs

"I swear they are putting Rogaine in the shaving lotion bottle. Pretty soon I'll have a comb-over on my knees."

It's Your Chance for Your Vote to Really Count Without Worrying About the Super Delegates

1) George Clooney

Pretty much the man everyone would do; gay, straight and everyone in between. But perhaps that creates too much competition for his attention.

2) Daaaaaviiid Letterman

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a smart ass. I don't ask if someone is a Democrat or Republican. I think you can tell a lot more about someone by asking if they watch Leno or Letterman.

3) Craig Ferguson

Funny like Dave, kinda charming like George and a really great accent to boot. I might be able to learn to love haggis.

Vote in the comments, kids!

Don't know what the hell I'm talking about? Visit Mrs. G at Derfwad Manor to find out.

Top Five Reasons to Love Mrs. G from the home office in Squirrel, Idaho:

1) Great writer

2) Funny as hell.

3) Derfstock, the Women's Colony

4) She worshiped thirtysomething in the same unhealthy way I did. (My kid had a "onesomething" t-shirt. Sad, but true, so I am likely the bigger loser).

5) She generously, creatively, consistently promotes the hell out of her fellow bloggers.

I did not cry at my son's kindergarten graduation today.

But I will have to make a concerted effort to hold it together tomorrow night when Rory graduates from the 8th grade. It won't be the typical "my baby is growing up" lament. Because while my children are growing with amazing speed, I find myself liking them more and more the older they get. I will cry because Rory will leave the wonderful little school that has been her community for the past eight years. I will cry because the last year has been one in which her teachers and classmates nurtured not only her brain, but her heart and soul. I have seen her take leaps and risks creatively that I didn't know a 13 year-old, let alone my 13 year-old, could be capable of.

She'll do fine in high school. All of my concerns about that were blazed and worried through with Mallory. Like all first-borns she is my test model, my sample kit. I work out the kinks with her, face my parenting fears and foibles, conquer what I can, forgive what I can't and move on. She is the mountain with the scary unknown summit that allows me to ski down the flip side with my other kids.

That's what I'll try to remember tomorrow night. Rory will be fine, just like Mallory was, and there will be a new adventure waiting for her, just like there was for her sister.

That is why I didn't cry at Mason's graduation today. All the first time parents were lamenting the loss of their children's babyhood.I know ,experiencing it for the fourth time, ultimately it's not the ending but the beginning of the next great thing.

Or at least that is the bullshit I keep telling myself to distract from the Munch like scream that is going on in my head.

And truth be told, we are all emotionally exhausted this week. Three of the kids will be in a new classroom (or school) next year and they've all loved this past year. There is a version of good-bye on this last day of school for my children. I've never seen them all mourn this much. I didn't cry, but tonight Mason did. Rory sobbed saying goodbye to some of her friends, and Lin did when reading a letter from her teacher.

Pass the tissues.

Stop With The Crazy Talk

That's what most of you who know us well will say. We are thinking of taking a drastic turn. We're contemplating giving up cable. I know, get a cool rag for your forehead. It's worse than you think. If we give up cable we have no TV. None. Nada. We live in the shadow of a mountain that makes it nearly impossible to get reception.

Four years ago when we moved in we had been without cable for several years. The people we bought the house from explained they never watched TV, so they hadn't bothered to get it. They said their kids were too obsessed with it. Now, we had experienced that on a smaller scale, and had gotten rid of cable. But having the regular networks seemed like a necessity. We sneered at the thought that someone couldn't just tell their kids "no TV" and have that be enough.

Yeah, guess why we are getting rid of TV? It's on all the time. We are failures and can't control our kids. One of us will say "no TV" and leave the house, then they ask the other parent.  It's way too dominant in our lives. It seems like the smart idea. We are living on one income and this will save a ton of money. Plus, we might actually, I don't know, read or talk to each other. Let's not go nuts here, but we might go outside once in awhile.

So the current plan is to get rid of it the first week in June. We'll see how it works over the summer. Maybe we'll feel differently in the fall. Bert and I are both concerned about not being able to watch the news. We're both political junkies and the thought of missing the convention and the elections bother us. Maybe we'll just have to hang out at bars.

The kid's reaction? "Stop the crazy talk!!"

We've spent a lot of the past four days with the TV off. Kind of like giving up the lunch feeding, then the nap feeding, etc. when you are weaning from nursing. Like weaning from nursing, I've noticed some positive changes- no sore nipples. Okay that was a joke. My nipples are still sore. Rim shot. (Thank you, thank you very much, I'll be here all week, try the shrimp cocktail.)

On the positive side there is a lot more reading, playing of music, working on projects and playing outside going on. On the negative side, we aren't doing any of this together. With the TV, a couple of us are gathering around to watch The Office. We all join in to watch Top Chef (I can tell you we won't go cold turkey for a week because I want to see the last episode). TV is a low key way for us to share in entertainment. Read alouds still work for the younger kids, not so much Rory and Mallory. Oh, and here is a little secret, I hate to be read to. I know put me in a petri dish. It makes me nervous and impatient. I really prefer to read to myself. Ironic that I love This American Life isn't it?

Anyway, we still have to call and see what kinds of buckets of money we'll save. I think it's likely a good experiment.

In lieu of tv, currently reading My Antonia by Willa Cather for book club.

P.S. This would mean that my summer treat of staying up late and watching Craig Ferguson wouldn't be possible, would it? Pardon me while I stifle a silent sob of horror.