Vindauga

Moving on...

When I started blogging, I had been reading and commenting on blogs for awhile. Two of my favorite blogs were written by Dawn and Melissa Summers. They were fully out, used their real names and seemed to have little problem with their writing and their thoughts being available for public dissection. Most everyone else I read were anonymous and had some sort of pseudonym.

I was unsure if I would stick with blogging, even more unsure of my writing, and liked the psychological aspects of having my identity protected. I went with the majority and created a nom de blog. I told a handful of people (five outside Bert and the kids) about my blog, and never felt compelled to share it with anyone else in the last three and a half years. I liked this little private cocoon where I could share stories of my day, attempt humor and rant and rave about everything from stupid television to politics. I have never felt the need for the cocoon to expand further into my real life. Most of you understand this, you've either commented or emailed me about your own anonymous journey into blogging.

I've loosened up a little, used our real first names, alluding to our location sometimes. I got really annoyed with the pseudonyms. I'm really not afraid of internet stalkers. I just don't want to be talking to someone in the school parking lot or in a business meeting and having them know stories about my underwear or the latest stupid thing I have said to Bert. Some of the people at school have worried that my humor could impact the school and my job. I respect that, and have curtailed my public persona some. I act like a grown-up even. So I say things on the blog that I no longer say to many in real life.

I am going to keep writing here. It made me really sad to think of losing Vindauga and starting over with something else. I like the name. I like the ties I've built with other bloggers and readers. I don't want to leave them behind. I will continue to edit my archives, because now I don't feel sure that I know who is and who isn't reading.

I am going to write less about the kid's specific lives here. I've started a family blog and will write there about what is going on with them and school and our jobs, etc.  I am inviting family and real life friends to read there. I figure it will relieve me of the guilt of never getting Christmas cards out on time.

If you know me in real life, and I haven't invited you here, I would appreciate an email or something to let me know you are there. I'm flattered you would want to read me, but I would at least like to know you are there. I'm surprised you would stay beyond one post.

I hope to maintain my real life boundaries. I'm not telling anyone else. I don't want to discuss the blog in front of other people. If more people do stumble upon it, I will password protect. I'm keeping all your requests, and will let you know when and if the time comes.

Most of you anonymous readers have come to me because of my ties to adoption. It's funny,  I didn't know I had that big of readership, period, let alone that big of readership interested in adoption. I have hesitated to write much about adoption because I always felt like I was probably boring the handful of people out there reading. So, I ask those of you who come to read about our adoption story or adoption in general to comment on those posts or throw me an email about what you'd like to read about or what question you have. I would love to have more discussions about adoption, meaning you interact and let me know what you think

Thank you for indulging me in all this bullshit, and reading along during my little crisis of self-indulgent angst . I'm amazed you are here at all.

In other news...

The Vatican has said it's okay to believe in aliens.
...This doesn't include Tom Cruise.
...Thank god, I can have the little green guy in the basement baptized finally. I was scared he would go to purgatory if something happened to him.
...The Vatican's newest satellite office will now be built in Area 51.

Sorry, I just had to channel my inner Jon Stewart for a moment.

We now go back to our previous existential, self-important freak-out.  I still don't know what I'm going to do. I received over 100 (ONE HUNDRED!!) requests for a password. I didn't know Bert could find that many strangers to pay to read my blog. I'm sincerely flattered  and overwhelmed that so many people would be willing to enter user names to keep reading this drivel. It makes the decision what to do harder.

I'll let you know. As always, let me know if you want the password.

You Like Me, You Really Like Me

In the middle of this, I've won an award- the Head Lice Version of Jeopardy over at Derfwad Manor. (It's a great blog, if you haven't read it, you should. And sign up for the women's colony.) I'd like to think the little brown sesame shaped bugs for giving me the knowledge to win this award. And I'd like to offer my deepest sympathies and a jar of mayonnaise and olive oil to Mrs. G.

I still don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard to explain, but I don't mind strangers reading about my life. I do however mind people I know reading about it without my knowledge. If someone stumbles on it, it's one thing. If they are told about it, that is another. And beyond that, I have not only a boss, but a board and an entire parent body I am accountable to. If any of them finds anything I've written objectionable that could be raised as a part of my employment. I don't write about work. But I write about things that could impact my work, and if I didn't there is nothing left to write about. I am my family's sole support. I can't afford to be fired.

So I don't what I'm going to do. I could move to a new blog or password protect this one. Last time I did it, I lost a ton of traffic and regular readers. And while I really don't care how much traffic I have- I don't depend on ad revenue or anything- it still bothers me to lose readers.

I took a ton of posts down last night, and there are more to go. Categories are gone, and others are on their way out. I know if I just stay like it is now, this will likely be a different blog. You write differently depending on your audience. If I'm going to write knowing the people I know read it, it will filter a lot. Maybe that will be good, maybe not.

Let me know how you handle anonymity or lack thereof. Let me know if you want the password.

Hey All

I'm going password protected within the next few hours. Someone told someone I work with, and there is just too much on here that I don't want to have to comb through to figure out what is safe for work and what is not. My life and my job overlap so much, that I just am not sure what is safe or what isn't it.

Email me if you want the password. vindaugablog@yahoo.com

Jury Duty

This morning I had jury duty. It's the third time I've been called to serve. I've served once on a civil case, and today's call was for a civil case. I was dismissed after roughly three hours of voir dire. I think likely the defendant had me dismissed because I had vague experience with a claim similar to the one the plaintiff was lobbying. I had a kick in my step as I left the courtroom.

We were told the case would take 7 to 10 days. Frankly, it didn't sound all that compelling and the thought of rearranging my life for essentially two work weeks for it frustrated me a little. But the truth is, I don't mind serving on a jury. It's part of being a good citizen, yada, yada, yada. I just want the case to teach me something besides nuances in insurance claims.

I'm amazed that while I've been called a number of times, there are many of you who have never been called. I get that it's random, but after a couple of times can't there be a mark next to my name that says "She's done her time, only call her for something really good from now on."

How 'bout you? Ever been on a jury? Civil or criminal?